Self Love is a Shortcut to Enlightenment, which is why understanding what self love truly means is extremely beneficial, it may sound like a small thing but it can be one of the most difficult things to master. Even those of us who are blessed with an abundance of love to give can find it tricky to turn that light back on ourselves when it comes to self-acceptance. To love ourselves means to Know Thyself first and for most. For how can you love yourself without knowing yourself? Self love can mean to care take ourselves, to have healthy boundaries, to have healthy self talk and to make decisions that put us in a safe and loving place. A cheat sheet to the meaning of love is being able to say "I take it as part of me", make your practice of Love about this phrase.
Loving ourselves sometimes comes served up in hyperbole. Self-care and self-love may be a 21st-century buzzword that gets tied up in taking hot baths and self-care rituals like moisturizing but committing to self-love isn’t always as simple. Learning to love ourselves is an internal journey and it takes habit-forming practices to make it come naturally. Self-love can only come from within ourselves, but we can call into being the power of other spiritual tools and healing stones to help us get there.
Self-love means that you have an appreciation, affinity, and positive regard for yourself. It’s closely related to self-esteem and self-compassion. When you have a strong sense of self-love, you understand your own value and treat yourself in a loving way.
Unlike narcissism, which is excessive self-absorption and self-interest, self-love is a positive trait. Loving yourself means having a good understanding of both your strengths and weaknesses. Narcissism is generally associated with poor mental health and that inflated ego. But high self-love has a positive effect on your well-being, mental fitness, and your relationships.
If you want to bring unconditional love into being then we need to adopt the concept of oneness. Narcissism is only caring about self, swinging that pendulum to the opposite side looks like only showing care for others at the expense of yourself or while you're self critical / hating. Oneness and unconditional love is about integrating both so neither of those ways are how we are functioning in our lives. We love ourselves and love others, neither is at the expense of the other. Which brings us back to our new definition of Love being "I take this as part of me", which is true oneness. You will no longer hurt yourself and you can not hurt someone else if you accept all that is, is apart of you. Understanding this makes it easy to see how self love can be a short cut to enlightenment.
The phrase "Treat others how you wish to be treated" should have an extension ending with "Treat yourself how you wish others would treat you.
5 Science Based Benefits of Self-Love:
Lower Stress, Higher Resilience
When we feel stressed, it’s generally because we don’t feel capable of living up to the challenges in front of us. When you have a strong sense of self-love, you’re better able to tackle challenges. Negative feelings and self-critical thoughts compound stress. When we feel good, though, it’s usually easier for us to problem-solve.
Self-love and self-compassion are directly linked. When we have a high sense of self-love, we’re able to look at challenges as temporary setbacks — or even as opportunities for growth. This attitude helps us become more resilient.
Willingness to take risks (the good kind)
When we’re willing to take risks, we do so because we have faith in ourselves. We know that we’ll be able to handle the outcome — whether we get what we want or not. A big part of that is self-trust, but it’s also a belief that you are worth the investment.
Imagine this scenario — a loved one, like a child or best friend, wanted to try something new. If they shared their insecurities with you, would you tell them that they’re probably right and most likely going to fail? Or would you encourage them to take a chance anyway because you believe in all the reasons why it would work out?
When you love yourself, you’re able to identify both opportunities for growth and chances for you to shine. Risk-taking isn’t just about doing something that seems fun. It’s also about giving yourself the best possible chance to succeed. We won’t get far in life staying in our comfort zones.
Empathy
When we are able to see ourselves — and accept our strengths and weaknesses — with compassion and appreciation, we can also have compassion for others. This ability to hold space for other people’s struggles helps us to become more empathetic. In turn, empathy creates a stronger connection and a sense of belonging.
BetterUp found that one-on-one coaching improves empathy by over 40%. Improving empathy also improves your cognitive and psychological flexibility. You become better able to “step into someone else’s shoes.” In turn, this can also have a positive effect on your communication skills.
Self-efficacy
There are four components to self-efficacy. These include seeing other people succeed, having your own mastery experiences, and being affirmed by others. The last is feeling good about ourselves and our capabilities. When our self-love is high, we’re better able to take on new things. Developing trust in our own capabilities, plus a desire to be the best, are key building blocks of self-efficacy. In turn, this self-trust and faith in our own abilities helps us achieve our goals, challenge ourselves, and live our best lives.
Boundaries
There’s a saying that a dishonest “yes” to something you don’t really want is actually an honest “no” to yourself. We often think that saying yes to everything and always willing to help is a virtue. However, a key part of self-love is knowing what to give your energy to — and what doesn’t serve you.
Practicing self-love doesn’t have to mean expensive activities, like booking a weekend at a resort. The focus is paying attention and caring for your needs, and could be as simple as a five-minute break to disconnect.
Ways to Cultivate Self Love:
Decision Making Practice
A great self love practice for when you need to make a decision is you ask yourself "What would someone who loved themselves do?" If you struggle with making decisions the core of this struggle could be one of those signs that maybe you don't know thyself, which is why you cant make a decision on what you actually want. Another reason you could be struggling with your decisions is because you're making them from a criteria other than from the stance of loving yourself. So making this your new practice will help you align into self love all around.
Love Water
This is a magical tool that is fun to make a regular practice. If you understand the concept of crystal water / water bottles, where we are infusing water with the frequency of the crystals so we can drink the healing benefits. This is the same thing, imbuing the energy frequency of love into water and drinking it. Starting off with pouring yourself a glass of water and holding it in your hands, then speak to the water with loving affirmations. If it is easier to think about someone you love or even a pet and talk to the water as if it is them you are speaking to then go for it. Say to the water "I Love You" and repeat as many times as you want. Imagine the love energy filling the glass of water. Drink the love infused water and maybe just meditate there with it and really try to feel your energy infusing with this love water, filling you up.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
A big part of self-love is staying present. It’s easy to get swept up in planning for the future or thinking about what you could have done differently in your life. Dwelling over things out of your control can raise feelings of hopelessness, stress and anxiety. Maintaining a gratitude journal can keep you grounded by reminding yourself of what you have to feel thankful for right now. Research suggests remembering what you’re thankful for can promote healthy eating and is linked to self-esteem and increases overall happiness.
A daily dose of gratitude can improve your mood, and is a great way to start your morning. You can download an app on gratitude, keep a small list on your phone or write what you’re thankful for in a notebook.
Give Yourself Compliments
A small but effective way to make yourself feel good and ultimately boost self-confidence is giving yourself a compliment. about, something small—like keeping up with your self-love habits—is worth praise. You can write it down in a journal or put a Post-It note on the bathroom mirror before going to bed. You can even set a reminder on your phone that you are doing great. Positive affirmations such as “I can do this” or “I am worthy” can also be a way to demonstrate self-love.
Speak to Yourself as You Would with Someone You Love
Negative self-talk is something we all engage in. However, if you constantly beat yourself up for your shortcomings, it can make you feel helpless, worthless and less motivated to put yourself out there. Nobody’s perfect. Try imagining your friend making the same mistake or failure, and think about what you would say to them. Checking in with what you internally say or think to yourself throughout the day. Engaging in positive self-talk helps you move towards acceptance—and eventually loving yourself.
Practice Mindfulness
Being mindful is a strategy to boost self-love, as it can help you identify what you feel, think and want. Mindfulness encompasses being fully present, non-judgmental, and aware of what is going on around us.
There are popular meditation apps that can teach you how to practice deep breathing and other mindfulness techniques..
Celebrate the Small Wins
You should celebrate wins, no matter how small. People can set harsh expectations for themselves or get caught up with what society demands of us.
Having lofty dreams isn’t bad, but setting realistic expectations aligned with our needs, wants and values. We’re more likely to complete these tasks, feel more accomplished and motivated to complete the next task—which contributes to feelings of self-love. The minor accomplishments add up and create momentum for reaching the end goal.
Limit Time on Social Media
A core component of self-love is refraining from self-judgment and comparing yourself to others—an easy trap to fall into if you’re constantly scrolling through social media. Research has found that many people make social comparisons based on what they see on social media, and that there is a strong relationship between social media usage and self-esteem. Limiting time on social media may alleviate feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression and fear of missing out.
Use Crystals:
Working with crystals for happiness and self-love alongside other things such as doing shadow work, reading inspiring books, surrounding yourself with positive, confident people, setting clear boundaries, and making choices that you know your future self will thank you for can make a huge difference. Every time you hold one of these crystals, you’ll remind yourself of your intention, and this will amplify all of the other work you’re doing to boost your self-love.
Iolite
This is a great stone for those who are currently undergoing therapy or counseling. It is connected to the throat chakra which can help clear confusion between your logical and emotional consciousness. This crystal can help you to communicate better with therapists and counselors that may be working with you. It is said to help increase the quality of your life. It helps you to better understand yourself and others around you.
As well as teaching you that there really is a difference between what’s real and what’s not. This stone can help you develop a positive outlook on life as well as find inner peace!
Smokey Quartz
The Smoky quartz is great for dissolving any feelings of unworthiness that you might be feeling. It clears away negative energy and helps to keep your aura clean at all times.
This crystal can also help clear any blockages that may be preventing you from receiving the abundance that the universe has to offer. It is connected to the root chakra which can help you stay balanced and grounded with your emotions! This is the right crystal to use if you are looking to get a boost of confidence and enhance your mental clarity!
Amazonite
Amazonite’s soothing green and blue tones represent kindness, serenity, and love. This stone is known to quiet the soul and boost the spirit. It is a master at calming the nervous system, making it perfect for letting go of worries and anxieties. Amazonite, which got its name from the fierce Amazon women, is also thought to represent courage and confidence, which makes it one of the best crystals for confidence and self-love. Its bright spirit improves self-esteem and helps you create boundaries, which are crucial components of self-love. Activating the throat and heart chakra, this stone enhances self-expression and facilitates honest, open conversation.
Kunzite
Kunzite is a stone linked to your heart chakra and can help you feel more unified or whole. It aligns your emotions with your heart’s desires while its soft energy is abundant in self-compassion and unwavering love. The peaceful, happy vibe of Kunzite is easy to feel. You can fall even more in love with yourself with the help of this relaxing crystal.
To truly comprehend your needs and wants, you must communicate openly and honestly between your heart and head, which Kunzite can help you do. It also encourages willingness, openness to chances, greater empathy, and feeling free and uninhibited in your expressions. Kunzite assists you in reaching the source of love that already resides within you.
Red Jasper
The Red jasper is a very powerful stone that works to bring energies into your life that can help you to heal. It also has the ability to work as a protective stone for those who are sensitive, clearing away any negative energy and replacing it with balance instead.
It can help you to ground yourself emotionally as well as spiritually. These red crystals help with self-esteem issues. It can block any negative feelings and negative thoughts from entering your mind that might be preventing you from learning how to love yourself for who you truly are.
Celestite
Next on our list of the best crystals for self-love is sky-blue Celestite. It is a stone that hints at a strong connection to other worlds. Possessing ethereal vitality, Celestite symbolizes a higher purpose and clarity of mind. This crystal’s main goal is to help you discover your inner balance and sense of serenity. It works to enhance the spirit and find solitude and inner peace. Celestite also calms the internal storms that are present in those who are continuously on edge or overwhelmed. It encourages you to process your emotions gradually, be still, recognize your larger purpose, and allow your inner power and wisdom to triumph over the fear.
Moonstone
Translucent white with rainbow hues, Moonstone is also known as the stone of new beginnings. It is a gentle stone that harnesses the strength of the moon’s feminine power and is connected to yin, the flow of life, and creativity. Since Moonstone helps ignite your inner feminine and intuition, it enables you to connect with your emotions, balance them and reduce tension. Working with this gem can help you be kinder to yourself, more compassionate, and work towards self-acceptance. Moonstone’s serene energy encourages healing and maternal protection. We are often our biggest critics, and this stone is a welcome reminder to soften and be gentler with ourselves.
Amethyst
The Amethyst is one of the best stones to use for protection in general, but it is especially helpful if you are attempting to manifest anything into your life. It works to protect against outside influences while also working to bring the energies of abundance and good fortune into your life. Since it can help attract positive things in your life, use this stone during any difficult time in your life so you have the power and strength to get through it.
Strawberry Quartz
The Strawberry quartz is a beautiful crystal that can help you to manifest love from within yourself. It’s a fairly powerful stone on its own, so it combines well with other crystals in order to enhance their energies and create a stronger force of energy for self-love. It can help attract the energies of romantic love which is great for when you are looking to form new connections with people.
Green Aventurine
Crystal Green aventurine can help you to not only find your own self-love, but it can also bring that love into your life.
This is especially helpful if you are having trouble finding yourself or allowing any positive thoughts in. It’s a stone that can help to bring more love, luck, and abundance into your life through the power of the heart chakra.
Green aventurine can help open your heart space and attract new people into your life. It is the perfect stone to have with you at all times when it comes to forming new connections and maintaining a healthy relationship.
Carnelian
The Carnelian is another crystal that brings the powerful energies of abundance into your life. It opens up your heart chakra. Allowing you to feel more love not only for yourself but also from others as well. This stone can bring an overall feeling of well-being into your life so that you can live happier and more fulfilled. This is the perfect crystal that can help you unlock your truest potential and see your true value! Carnelian has powerful healing properties that can help attract positivity and love. This will allow you to live the best life possible! It is known as the stone of courage. It pushes you to learn to love yourself and open your heart to new things and new people.
Other crystals that help you when working on self love:
Lepidolite
Aquamarine
Citrine
Labradorite
Rhodonite
Hematite
Peridot
Tiger’s Eye
Pink Calcite
Clear Quartz
Malachite
Pink Tourmaline
Rose Quartz
Prehnite
Garnet
Pink Opal
Ways to use crystals
Wear to surround yourself with love
Put under your pillow for healing vibrations as you sleep
Place love crystals on the body to nurture self-worth
When working with crystals you can bask in unconditional love and encouragement with more personal care to raise you up. Crystals are positively buzzing with bright power and healing potency and by tapping into this and calling it into being, you can make the most of your crystal journey. Here are a few tips and techniques to help you get the most from your self-love and care crystals…
Wear gemstone jewelry. This way you always carry the stone with you and stay connected to its healing power.
Place a stone beneath your pillow and let those healing vibrations hum all night long.
Create space in your room or study for a crystal to sit and let it fill every corner with its healing light. You can even create an altar for a pyramid or crystal sphere and add candles, incense, and other symbols that help you feel connected to your deeper self and sense of purpose.
Place the crystals on your heart or root chakra, or whichever chakra you think needs clearing from blocked energy.
Write lists of all the ways you bring strength and light into the world and have your crystal close by when journaling.
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